Being consistently committed to feeling, thinking, and choosing (in that order) allows for certainty about at least one thing in a rather uncertain world. And that is: even if nothing else goes according to plan, you can feel satisfied you made the best decision you could, using the best information available to you at that time.
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The healthiest choice for one person may look completely different for the next. The overarching goal here is to use what you’ve learned to objectively synthesize the unique information and insights you’ve accumulated along the way.
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Making value-aligned decisions is a 2-part process. Step 1. Fact-finding. By now, hopefully you’ve spent some time identifying your current values. Now, it’s time to investigate them. In Step 2, fact-checking,you’ll evaluate the reliability of your Step 1 conclusions.
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Negative emotions often lead to unhealthy coping strategies. In turn, unhealthy coping strategies can contribute to new problems. The cycle will continue if it isn’t interrupted. Let’s turn our attention back to the relationship between resources and values.
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what are your values? If you’re like many people, you might feel challenged to really get your arms around an answer to that question in any meaningful way. The goal of the exercise in this post is to help you organize and focus your thoughts on the subject of values.
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So you’re ready to start making intentional decisions about your life. Great! Finding a way to objectively and critically weigh available options will be vital. You’ll need a system in place to facilitate this process. Where to begin?
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Our feelings, thoughts, and choices also influence our schemas. It’s time to open up your “rules for life” manual and take a look around.
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Fear-based decisions are often borne of a need to convince ourselves the world is predictable, or safe (or at least as predictable or safe as we can make it). Personal wants and needs are set aside, usually to our own detriment.
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If a faulty assumption isn’t corrected, it’s not only likely to worsen existing problems, but potentially create completely new ones. Honest and direct communication dramatically increase the chances faulty assumptions won’t derail you. Say what you mean and don’t assume you know what others mean – check in!
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