What are thinking traps? Simply put: thinking traps are the various unhelpful ways we can “twist up” our own thinking. In this section, we’ll explore a variety of irrational thought patterns…patterns you might not even be aware of...
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The good news is, we all have the capacity to evaluate and change our schemas; we just have to choose to do it. The basic requirements: motivation, self-awareness, and practice! You’ll learn more about this in Part IV.
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Unfortunately, most of us don’t invest many resources to ensure our “rules for life” are current, accurate, or objective. Very often, we don’t bother to verify source material, or even confirm we are referring to our own copy of manual!
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You can think of your schemas as a sort of “rules for life” (or RFL) manual – written for you, by you! You are constantly consulting it as you make decisions, interact with your environment, and navigate your relationships. Not surprisingly, schemas can sometimes be as problematic as they are helpful.
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At all times, your mind is producing thoughts. The fact you can report what those thoughts are indicates an additional type of awareness of them. That is to say: there’s the thinking you, and the observing you, simultaneously present. This is often referred to as “the observer self.”
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The goal here isn’t to take a deep dive into the complexities of human thought. Instead, we’re going to attend to how we experience our thoughts, as well as the ways we influence them.
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When we ignore feelings, they just keep ringing our metaphorical “mental doorbell” And they keep ringing, again and again and again until we have no choice but to let them in. When we deny our feelings, they can get stronger over time.
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Improving our feelings vocabulary (and using it) isn’t the only challenge where feelings are concerned. They’re also hard at work trying to “protect” you in another way. Sometimes, emotions serve as a smokescreen.
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We don’t choose feelings. We need not judge them. You are entitled to each and every one of your feelings. At this point, you’ve reached a crucial moment in the Feel. Think. Choose. In That Order. process.
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Since it’s impossible to address what we don’t (or won’t!) acknowledge, our first order of business is to name it. How strong is your feelings vocabulary?”
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