CHAPTER 3 How It Evolved

Feelings. We’ve all got ‘em. Often, however, we find ourselves investing significant amounts of time, energy, and other valuable resources, doing our level best to avoid them. Because you’re reading this, I bet it’s safe to say that approach isn’t working any better for you than it is for the rest of us. So…why not try something different!?

Imagine what it would be like to have the ability to give your thoughts and feelings your full, undivided attention without being overwhelmed by them. Whether asleep or awake, our brains are constantly engaged in the endless processing of information. Unfortunately, we’re just not that great about approaching some of these processes in a particularly intentional way. Well, buckle up, because that’s all about to change!

Feel. Think. Choose. In that order. is grounded in the concept of metacognition. In case you’re unfamiliar with this term, metacognition is simply defined as the process of thinking about one's thinking. Specifically, it refers to how we plan, monitor, and assess our own understanding and performance. The ability to be an observer of your own mind is a powerful skill. Unfortunately, it’s a skill which too often goes under-utilized as we navigate through our hectic day-to-day lives. 

To be clear, I am not saying feeling, thinking, and choosing is a rigid, linear process. In working with people, I have found very little about human nature is rigid or linear! Each step of Feel. Think. Choose. In that Order. is intimately connected to the next. The interdependence of these processes is self-evident. I have chosen to order feeling, thinking, and choosing in this particular way because the progression just makes good sense.

I believe training ourselves to be cognizant of our feelings, and being curious about the ways we interpret them, allows us to choose a course of action with confidence and intention. Each step organically and compassionately builds on the one before it. When we do this, we’re better equipped to become a change agent in our own lives.